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Time to discuss the beer league goalie. They’ve become gangsters. That and more in the latest edition of THE ARMCHAIR ASSASSIN. 

FIRST OF ALL… The beer league goalie is out of control.  All goalies are strange. It’s a difficult position.  A position no parent wants their kids to play.  All of their mistakes wind-up in the back of the net.  If you’re not eccentric before you strap the pads on, having pucks fired at you will certainly turn you into the strangest guy on the team.  But the beer league goalie has become a monster all of its own.  I’m not sure what the turning point was, but somewhere along the way beer league goalies realized that they are in high demand.  They realized that reliable beer league goalies are extremely rare.  Rare like drug dealers that cut their grass.  It’s why you’ll see really good teams with crappy goalies.  Because if you find a reliable puck stopper, you lock him up forever.  It doesn’t matter if he’s any good, as long as he shows up.  And it’s this mindset that has created a monster.  Beer league goalies have become like gangsters.  They don’t generally pay registration. If they do pay, they tend to negotiate some sweetheart deal. Why?  No idea.  But when you’re looking for a goalie, that’s normally the going rate.  They also don’t bring beer and have no problem calling in sick on game day.  If you’ve ever had the misfortune of managing a team – then you’ve most certainly wasted countless hours tracking down a spare goalie because your asshole netminder comes and goes as he pleases.  Much like a dictator they have too much power and it’s gone to their heads.  I’d like to say it will end someday.  I’d like to say beer league goalies will become a dime a dozen and we won’t have to kiss their asses anymore.  But unfortunately I don’t see an end to the madness.  Beer league goalies will continue being assholes…because they can. 

RANDOM RANDOMNESS… If the Jets make the playoffs, Adam Lowry is my playoff pool sleeper. Dude is big, nasty and lives around the net. Perfect style for the postseason. I’m not saying he’ll be Dustin Brown from 2012, but definitely worth late round consideration… The NHL is going to a 3-on-3 overtime system, essentially to cut down on the number of shootouts deciding games. I’ve got a better idea – ELIMINATE SHOOTOUTS ALL TOGETHER! They should go the way of the dinosaur and the glow-puck… The inter-office NCAA bracket makes me laugh. 97% of Canadians have no idea who they’re picking. Tulsa State vs. Montana Tech? Who? That being said, I do enjoy watching March Madness… Congrats to Team Jennifer Jones on another amazing year. You know they’re not happy with silver at the Worlds, but even the best have to lose sometimes. They’ve played a ton of huge games over the past 16 months – they must be mentally drained… And finally with every passing day we get a step closer to the opening round of the NHL playoffs – AKA the absolute greatest time of year for me, and worst time of year for my wife.